


The Things I Do For You

by Debz_Baumaus



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Asexual Kozume Kenma, Compromise, Crack Treated Seriously, Cuddling & Snuggling, Domestic Boyfriends, Domestic Fluff, Ficlet, Funny, Introversion, Kozume Kenma & Kuroo Tetsurou Friendship, Kuroo Tetsurou is a Good Friend, M/M, Minor Azumane Asahi/Nishinoya Yuu, Minor Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi, Pets, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-13
Updated: 2020-11-13
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:20:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27535159
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Debz_Baumaus/pseuds/Debz_Baumaus
Summary: "By the way you were panicking on the phone, I thought Shouyou had said he wanted a baby."Kuroo swore he'd had an aneurysm someday with the way Kenma kept scaring him shitless. His friend really had to stop magnifying all the small nuances of his relationship with Hinata Shouyou. Of course he understood just how... socially challenged Kenma has always been, but sometimes he'd start fuming or whining over stuff that wasn't nearly as serious as he made them to be.Like this..."It's basically the same thing!" Kenma groaned despairingly.Or: The things Kuroo does for his best friend, and the things Kenma does for his boyfriend.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kozume Kenma
Comments: 3
Kudos: 117





	The Things I Do For You

**Author's Note:**

> Kenma's asexuality is not that relevant, but it is heavily implied, so I decided to tag it.  
> Also, because I am ace-spec myself and love representation.

"By the way you were panicking on the phone, I thought Shouyou had said he wanted a baby."

Kuroo swore he'd had an aneurysm someday with the way Kenma kept scaring him shitless. His friend really had to stop magnifying all the small nuances of his relationship with Hinata Shouyou. Of course he understood just how... socially challenged Kenma has always been, but sometimes he'd start fuming or whining over stuff that wasn't nearly as serious as he made them to be.

Like this...

"It's basically the same thing!" Kenma groaned despairingly into his crossed arms where he lay sprawled over the low dining table of his now shared home. Hinata had moved in with him around a year and a half or so after having returned to Japan. And Kuroo, being friend to both, had often been dragged into their, quite honestly, weird shenanigans time and time again.  
"Help me talk sense into him!"

Kuroo rolled his eyes at his friend's dramatics. "Kenma, the world won't end if you guys get a dog."

Kenma narrowed his eyes threateningly, seemingly challenging his best friend to question him further. "But it's not fair! **I'm** the one who works from home, who stays in here all day. It would mean ME cleaning after it, ME having to feed it, ME having to hear it bark and pester me when it wants to play. He knows very well that I don't like animals! Why would he ignore that?!"

Kuroo notices Kenma drumming the fingers of one hand on the table. It's not rhythmical at all, and it is jarring on his own mood. He also notices how Kenma has bitten his nails to the quick.  
"Okay, Kenma, I get it. Yeah, you're right, it would become your responsibility even if you didn't even want it in the first place, but you're way too worked up to think right now. Here, have some soda... Breathe."

Kenma clings onto the apple-flavored soda greedily, yet he limits himself to his usual tiny sips. Kuroo can now tell that his face is slightly flushed from desperation, he presumes. 

After a few gulps that down less than a third of the can's contents, Kenma huffs in annoyance.  
"Can you imagine..? Shou-chan actually dared to tell me the dog would do me good..!" Kenma rolls his eyes and snorts derisively. "We're both already living our ideal lives. I play games at home and sponsor his volleyball, not to mention I'm financing many more volley-related things because I want to find and support more players like him."

Kenma's fingers fiddle and drum nervously, lightly, on the can in his hold. He looks down pensively, not really staring at anything in particular. Kuroo is sure that only Hinata and him would notice the underlying hurt and worry in that deadpan face. "Isn't it enough that I actually got to like volleyball that much? That I support his dream and others', too?"

Kuroo blinked. Now he understood the crux of the issue, the, _"Am I not enough?",_ that went unsaid.

But he also knew very well that's not what Hinata had meant to imply. That simply was not how Flying Sunshine boy worked at all 

He imagined that, just like Kuroo, his concerns lied more in the line of Kenma's limited interactions and exposure to sunlight. Hinata was thinking about the less than healthy habits Kenma maintained. And, yes, he was fine now, but on the long run..?   
Kenma wasn't at school anymore, surrounded by his teammates, practicing volley, walking from and to his house everyday. 

Sure, he was taking college classes, but most he took online (he preferred nighttime schedules, too). The rare classes that he took at the actual buildings never seem to entail him making new friends at all or staying out of his house, either.

Hinata was merely being a good partner and thinking about Kenma's wellbeing. He needed change, a break from his hermit-like routine to have some spontaneity and variety sprinkled into his otherwise dull and repetitive days of contentment (*cough* confinement).

Mentally and physically, a dog really would do him lots of good. It would keep him active, it would mean putting energy into a walk to the park, or not being lonely whenever Hinata travelled for matches and Kenma couldn't come along for some reason or another.

Kuroo had to agree. They really should get a dog so Kenma could get off his butt for at least a short while a day and enjoy good company when he was alone at home (which was more often than not, lately).

"Hmm... I mean, you spend a lot of time by yourself in here, right? You barely go to the company building yourself, Mr. CEO. Your office is mostly there for when you take meetings. Don't you get lonely and miss jumpy Chibi-chan through the day?"

Kenma stared at his soda can forlornly, longing shining clear in his eyes. "Yeah... But what does that have to do with anything? I just extend streaming time when I miss him." He shrugs nonchalantly, "More money, too." 

It doesn't serve to fool nor soothe Kuroo. He can only sigh. "Well, doesn't Shouyou sometimes remind you of a very lively, friendly dog?"

A beat passes.

"...Shiba Inu."

Kuroo bursts into a chuckle. Yeah, he could definitely see that.

"So, does the idea of having a dog still that scary if you think you already are taking care of an entire human being? Especially when that human is none other than dumb, hyperactive Hinata Shouyou?"

When Kenma's eyes narrow at the "dumb", Kuroo laughs internally, remembering the day Kenma verbally admitted to his crush on the orange-haired spiker.

_"Ah, so himbos are your type!"_

_"Shut it..."_

Kenma now imagined owning a dog from a different perspective.   
The scenario: Shouyou being said dog. 

Yeah, nothing much would be different, really. Just that he'd have double Shouyou energy to deal with when his partner was home. But the prospect of Shouyou smiling as he played with a dog, making funny faces and voices, running around happily like back in high school, it made him happy.

Kenma finally lets a small smile show on his face.

"Okay, I'll consider it."

  
* _Months later_

_  
"...SO YOU THOUGHT TO TELL ME UNTIL **JUST NOW** THAT SHIBAS ARE AMONG THE MOST NEEDY, HYPERACTIVE BREEDS TO TAKE CARE OF?! F*CK YOU, KUROO!!!"_

__

The incessant barks in the background of their phone call and Kenma's frantic panting are too hillarious for Kuroo.

__

"I saw Chibi-chan flooding his Instagram with pictures of Tamago," he says slyly, certain that his smile can be heard in his tone of voice.

__

A sigh. "Yeah, they're very similar, no doubt. But Nintendogs and Tamagochi are fakes! All lies and manipulative marketing! They **do not** simulate the experience of raising a dog nearly accurate enough! I was **not** prepared!"

__

_Oh... Kenma._

__

__

**< Omake>**

__

"So, Tamago. Because of your favorite food?" Sugawara asks while he plays with the Shiba's face, squishing and twisting Tamago's cheeks with his hands while cooing to the slobbery puppy.

__

Daichi, Noya, and him decided to spend New Year's in Tokyo to go to Asahi for a change and celebrate his and Daichi's birthday in the city.

__

Kenma answers in a deadpan, "Shouyou kept biting the poor dog's cheeks because of how stretchy they are," he declares, clearly disgusted and annoyed (totally resentful and jealous about his boyfriend's antics).

__

Suga laughs awkwardly and lets go of Tamago's face as if burned, frantically wiping his hands on his pants while straining his smile.

__

"Honestly, I'd do the same," says Daichi, shrugging.

__

Noya nods in agreement.

__

Silence.

__

"Gross, Daichi. Gross," says Asahi.

__

__

**< Omake>**

__

Even though Kenma loves Shouyou's affections, he is still not very used to touchiness, in general. Physical contact is a weird thing for him, so Shouyou considers intimate moments like these something very precious.

__

Currently, Kenma is allowing him to kiss and kiss and kiss his mind silly through the movie their huge TV is playing (which they never payed any mind to, anyway). Better yet, Kenma is reciprocating, with hesitant, shy movements, but his lips slide against Shouyou's, moving slowly and tenderly in tandem.

__

Shouyou feels ecstatic, his skin sparking with joy at the fact that Kenma is not only allowing more than sleepy cuddles, but is actually following along. 

__

Sadly enough...

__

Soon, claws scratch at one of Shouyou's legs, followed by a whine. He grabs Kenma's chin and deepens the kiss, refusing to be interrupted and robbed of this rare and precious moment.

__

A couple of minutes later, a snout is pressing against the corner of their joined lips, forcing them to jolt appart in surprise.

__

"TAMAGO!!!" Kenma bellows furiously, glaring at the cheerful dog, wagging his tail on Shouyou's lap.

__

"Kenma, don't be angry," he lifts his hands, trying to ease Kenma's anger, "he just wants attention, too! And, and, did you know dogs' mouths are actually cleaner than humans'?" He offers with a grin, hoping the ruined mood would subside.

__

"OUT!"

__

Shouyou shrinked in his place, wide eyes begging, "Kenma, please-."

__

Kenma frowns deeper, face beet red, "Then, BOTH OF YOU! OUT!"

__

...

__

"So you're sleeping under the kotatsu tonight?" Suga asks, phone cradled between his cheek and his shoulder while cooking dinner for himself and Daichi.

__

"He said I wanted the dog, so it's my fault. I can hear him violently brushing his teeth even from here." Shouyou whispers sadly, looking at the closed door of his and Kenma's room, hoping to see it open and be welcomed in.

__

Suga chuckles and Daichi looks questioningly at him, curious about what's happening to his former kouhai. "Kageyama would agree with your boyfriend," Suga laughs.

__

"He does. He started yelling "boke" as usual."

__

Suga laughs harder.

__

__

**< Omake>**

__

Sniff. "Oof! Tamago! You smell rotten, boy. Today, bath."  
Shouyou keeps walking to greet his boyfriend with a kiss to the top of his head.

__

"...Kenma, you need a bath, too."

__

Half an hour later, Shouyou is carrying Tamago and Kenma under his arms, each of them pressed to his sides.

__

"Shouyoooouuu! I just needed 6 more hours to finish the campaign! It's an international event!" Kenma whines weakly, not really trying hard to protest.

__

"Don't care, I won't sleep with a guy who smells just like dog. Especially when we recently switched to fresh sheets. Our bed will remain orange-scented, you hear me?"

__

__

**< Omake>**

__

"Mmm! So happy, Tamago has been keeping you fit, Kenma!" Shouyou squeals gleefully as he rubs Kenma's flat and soft stomach, noticing the almost imperceptible pink tint his usually pale boyfriend has acquired thanks to daily walks under the sun.

__

"You've done so well," he continues saying, "Thank you for agreeing to getting a dog, and for taking care of both of us everyday. You're the best boyfriend, Kenma."

__

Kenma feels pride and warmth creeping through his chest and up to his cheeks.

__

"So... what do you say about adopting a baby?"

__

  
"KUROOOOOO!"

__

"Oh, my..." Why did he have to answer the phone...

__

  
~Fin(?)~

__

**Author's Note:**

> Domestic, funny fluff for my favorite Kenma ship. x3 I really wished he could appreciate the wonders of animals. Alas, he is a tech gremlin, but we love him the (grumpy) way he is.
> 
> Thanks for reading! Check out my other Haikyuu fics for DaiSuga and AsaNoya content. Will write more KenHina and other Kenma-centric funnies, and also YamaTsukki!
> 
> Follow me @ContrastMinds on Twitter and Tumblr, where I create the ficlet drafts, or for fic requests!
> 
> And let me know if you'd be interested in a sequel with KenHina going through the process of adopting a baby and taking care of a kid? (Also, pre-adoption Kenma panics.)  
> If so, girl or boy?


End file.
